Day 90

“'The truth is, when you were young, you were able to do as you liked and go wherever you wanted to. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and others will direct you and take you where you don’t want to go.' Jesus said this to let him know what kind of death he would die to glorify God. Then Jesus told him 'Follow me.' Peter turned around and saw the disciple Jesus loved following them . . . Peter asked Jesus 'What about him Lord?' Jesus replied, 'If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?'” John 21:18-23

Let’s talk about a more subtle and insidious form of coveting. I am not particularly materialistic. I suppose that might be tested more if I didn’t live in a land of abundance. I am also not boasting, I was just made that way, not needing much in the way of material possessions. Therefore, I had to stop and think about this commandment, because I know I suffer, as Rob preached, from distractions that take my eyes off of Christ. So, here is what I’ve discovered. I covet traits, lifestyles, talents, and God’s walk with other people.

I have spent the last 13 years wishing I was a better mother. It’s not that I’m an awful mother, but it doesn’t come naturally to me. I love children as young people. I love the way their minds work and how they see the world, what makes them laugh and what makes them cry. I am loathe to have to train and discipline them. I can’t even do that for myself. I envy my friends who are naturals at it. Their children know when mom says "stop," she means "stop." Mine think it’s time to pause, and resume.

I also envy organized people, disciplined people, talented writers, people who exercise daily and those who know Hebrew. I am not being facetious. These are the things I covet and in the case of organized, disciplined people who exercise daily, I feel irritated with them for having it all together and not letting life or other people interfere with their plans. My irritation comes close to raca (commandment # 6).

And so Jesus, who had just fed the disciples a fish breakfast, has this interesting conversation with Peter as they walk along the shore. Jesus has just given Peter instructions to care for His sheep. He caps it off by informing Peter that as life unfolds he too will be crucified. They are tough words to hear. Jesus knowing this adds an emphatic, “Follow Me."

How do we know those are tough words for Peter? How do we know they have unsettled him? What is Peter’s reaction to “Follow Me?" He does not respond directly to Jesus about this news. Instead he turns around and looks at John who is walking behind them, and he asks Jesus, “What about him?”

Chamad.

Maybe this is a stretch, but I got to thinking about all the things that interfere with our walk with God, and what God is doing in other people’s lives may be high on the list.

We could imagine that Peter’s question about John’s fate is based in concern for John, that he, too, might be headed for a martyr’s death. How many of them would “follow” Jesus this way? But the response Jesus gives to Peter’s question tells us otherwise. Jesus can still read hearts and He knows Peter is, as Rob might say, distracted by John. What about him?

“If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?" What is it to you what I do with anyone else? Follow me.

Jesus has used these words on me. Again, I am not being facetious. More than once this conversation between Peter and Jesus has rung in my ears when I have tried to walk obediently with God, feeling sometimes like I’m on a dangerous precipice and I look around and say “What about them?”

If we strive to walk with obediently with God it can be difficult to look around and see fellow believers who are living fully attached to the world unburdened by what God has called us to. We might be envious of their relative indifference to scripture. Or swinging the other way, we might covet the deep relationship a friend or mentor has with Christ, or that he/she can “hear” God speak. If we become preoccupied or irritated with what we see others doing on their journey with God, we may as well be coveting their goat or maidservant. Our journey is hindered by coveting something He never intended to give us -- someone else’s journey.

Jesus gently rebuked Peter (you’ve got to feel for him) and He will gently rebuke us if we are looking at others instead of Him. We should welcome this rebuke. The antidote to the problem of coveting what someone else has is delighting in what we have. We have access to the King of the Universe who knows us, loves us and wants to unleash our true selves so we can walk unencumbered in this world. I know if I can let him do that in me, it won’t bother me so much that I’m not organized or disciplined, or that I'm ignorant in Hebrew.

Father: Would you gently rebuke us when we start coveting what others have, materially, emotionally, and spiritually? Help us to become like Paul who became content in all circumstances. Amen.